One day at a time...

Will this really happen? Will I really get to the point where I can leave for a month to go to Maine to write a book?

YES. 

I cannot doubt this. God gave us a miracle when Nicole fell off that building. He carried her down, he sat with her on the ground and he guided the surgeons hands as they knit Nicole's broken neck and back together again. She's a WALKING quadriplegic. And that story has to be told on a larger stage. I've been encouraged by so many, assuring me that because this book will give God the glory, He will make sure that the money will flow to make it happen.

My little health scare has slowed me down a bit...critically low potassium will zap your energy and fast! But each day, as my potassium levels rise, I feel stronger and stronger. I've got a week's worth of housework to catch up on this weekend so I can focus on work again next week. I'm going to be gone three days next week to go to Chicago for training for the ALS Association walk that I'm coordinating, so I have to cram alot into the two days I'll be in my office.

And I'm also going to try to go to Nashville later this month for a few days to tend to my friend, Carol, who is having surgery on her delicate heart--valve replacement and triple by-pass--next Wednesday.

One day at a time...

Have you ever had a goal that seemed impossible, but you plowed forward as if you would reach it no matter what? I'd love to hear about it! I know the first step towards reaching a goal is believing you'll reach it.

Blessings to all who read this!
Susan

Maine or Die Trying...

COUNTDOWN for Maine!

Sometimes, life hands you an opportunity that is so perfect, you would be crazy to pass it by.

I have been handed an opportunity to go to a place for a full month, where I can sit and focus on writing a book about Nicole's accident and our family's journey. That place just happens to be in a beach house in Maine. And the month is May. As in NEXT MONTH. 

How am I going to make this happen, when our finances are tighter than they've ever been in our 30 years of marriage?

Well, I just believe so much that this story needs to be told, and the book needs to be written. And, just as when I got on that plane to New York on August 31, 2008, not knowing really what we'd find or how long we'd be there, or how in the world we'd ever afford it, I had faith that all would be OK. And it was. We were provided for. Nicole recovered. And even now, over two and a half years later, we may not have the disposable income we once had, but we certainly aren't starving. (Except for the self-imposed diet, which we are getting used to and is already making a difference!)

So I'm running on faith that the work I'm doing this month will pay off. I need enough money to cover the expenses I typically cover in our household, enough money to finish paying off Joe's tuition for this semester, and enough money to get me to Maine and back, and to be there for the month of May. Each day I just wake up and get right to work. It's the only thing I know to do!

And wouldn't you know, there's already been a hiccup in the plans. A big hiccup. After feeling rotten all weekend, I went to see the doctor, and he was freaking-out concerned. My ekg was "disturbing," and my symptoms were a real head-scratcher. A blood test revealed I had "critically low" levels of potassium--which perfectly explained my symptoms, including the disturbing ekg. Six huge horse pills a day for five days should do the trick. Best bad news I had heard all day.

Until the phone rang early yesterday morning.

Another blood test, taken later the day before, came back. Called a "D-Dimer" test, it can tell if you have a blood clot. My test came back positive.

I was told to high-tail it to the Madison Radiological Group for "stat" testing. "Right after I jump in the shower," I said. "NO. NOW," I was instructed. Scary.

They did a Doppler test on the veins/arteries in my legs. No clot there.

So they decided to do a CT scan. An IV with dye in it that made my body feel like it was on fire for about a minute...then four minutes of wondering if I really peed, or if it just felt that way (it just felt that way!).

All that to get some really good news: no clot!

But, the tightness in my chest and lack of energy has my ever-vigilent doctor concerned. Enough so that it seems I've bought myself another round of tests to make sure my heart is OK, including a stress test on a treadmill at Madison Heart Clinic tomorrow morning. Nothing to eat or drink past midnight.

While this is all certainly a bump in the road in many ways (lack of energy = not getting done all the things I need/want to do...plus the fact that our medical insurance deductible could buy a small island), I'm determined not to let it steer away from my plans to go to Maine.

And really, I look at it all as a blessing. Because I'm on a journey of my own towards better health and an active lifestyle going forward, and this is a little reminder of what eating bad foods and not dealing with stress in a healthy way can do to you. This little episode will make it much easier to resist tempting sweets and high-fat dishes, and much easier to hop on that treadmill each day!

Don't forget...I've got great gifts for graduation, Professional Assistant's Day (4/26), birthday, wedding, new babies, housewarming and more! Order your Scentsy products direct from my website and my profit will go straight to the Joe Marquez College Tuition Fund! I sure do appreciate it! Log on to http://www.susanmarquez.scentsy.us/. Tell your friends!!! :-)

Blessings to all who read this!
Susan

Reach out and Touch

Watching the events of the past week unfold in Japan have been hard to fully understand/comprehend. First it was the earthquake--now they're saying it was a 9 on the Richter Scale. That's huge. Then the tsunami, with the most incredible visual images of the wrath and strength of Mother Nature. Cars, trucks and buildings, floating along in the raging waters. But all of that almost forgotten with the threat of a nuclear meltdown.

But what about the people of Japan who are having to cope with losing so much? I think back to our own post-Katrina experience, when we were without electricity for a week. In Missisisppi. In August. It was HOT. But it wasn't so bad. Neighbors came to the aid of each other, sharing resources and actually talking for the first time, in some cases. It was as if the world came to a standstill for a period of time. No rushing off to work or school. No ballgames or dance class or committee meetings. It was a time to stay home, and wait until the world as we know it could get back to "normal." And during that time, people pulled thawing meat out of freezers and fired up their grills and impromptu block parties ensued.

As our house sweltered, we went to a friend's house a few miles away who had electricity. We packed up food from our refrigerator and freezer and along with the new friend from Slidell, Louisiana (we met him in a gas line) we had a grand dinner party with much food, conversation and laughter in the middle of one of the biggest castastrophies to ever hit our state.

Recently, I received an email from a fellow blogger with a letter she received from an American friend who lives in Sendai, Japan. It reminded me of those Katrina days, and also reminded me of how resiliant and resourceful we can be. This letter was written on March 14, 2011:


Things here in Sendai have been rather surreal. But I am very blessed to have wonderful friends who are helping me a lot. Since my shack is even more worthy of that name, I am now staying at a friend's home. We share supplies like water, food and a kerosene heater. We sleep lined up in one room, eat by candlelight, share stories. It is warm, friendly, and beautiful.




During the day we help each other clean up the mess in our homes. People sit in their cars, looking
at news on their navigation screens, or line up to get drinking water when a source is open. If someone has water running in their home, they put out a sign so people can come to fill up their jugs and buckets.


It's utterly amazingly that where I am there has been no looting, no pushing in lines. People leave their frontdoor open, as it is safer when an earthquake strikes. People keep saying, "Oh, this is how it used to be in the old days when everyone helped one another."


Quakes keep coming. Last night they struck about every 15 minutes. Sirens are constant and helicopters pass overhead often. We got water for a few hours in our homes last night, and now it is for half a day. Electricity came on this afternoon. Gas has not yet come on. But all of this is by area. Some people have these things, others do not. No one has washed for several days. We feel grubby, but there are so much more important concerns than that for us now. I love this peeling away of non-essentials. Living fully on the level of instinct, of intuition, of caring, of what is needed for survival, not just of me, but of the entire group.




There are strange parallel universes happening. Houses a mess in some places, yet then a house with futons or laundry out drying in the sun. People lining up for water and food, and yet a few people out walking their dogs. All happening at the same time.




Other unexpected touches of beauty are first, the silence at night. No cars. No one out on the streets. And the heavens at night are scattered with stars. I usually can see about two, but now the whole sky is filled. The mountains of Sendai are solid and with the crisp air we can see them silhouetted against the sky magnificently. And the Japanese themselves are so wonderful. I come back to my shack to check on it each day, now to send this e-mail since the electricity is on, and I find food and water left in my entrance way. I have no idea from whom, but it is there. Old men in green hats go from door to door checking to see if everyone is OK. People talk to complete strangers asking if they need help. I see no signs of fear.


Resignation, yes, but fear or panic, no.


They tell us we can expect aftershocks, and even other major quakes, for another month or more. And we are getting constant tremors, rolls, shaking, rumbling. I am blessed in that I live in a part of Sendai that is a bit elevated, a bit more solid than other parts.


So far this area is better off than others. Last night my friend's husband came in from the country, bringing food and water. Blessed again.


Somehow at this time I realize from direct experience that there is indeed an enormous Cosmic evolutionary step that is occurring all over the world right at this moment. And somehow as I experience the events happening now in Japan, I can feel my heart opening very wide. My brother asked me if I felt so small because of all that is happening. I don't. Rather, I feel as part of something happening that much larger than myself.

While I sit in my comfortable, cool home on this first glorious day of spring, I send a prayer up to the people of Japan who are struggling, and at the same time I give thanks for the ability we have to comfort and help one another. Let us not wait until the unimaginable happens to exercise those traits, as there is always someone nearby we can reach out to today.

Here's an idea: Simply text "REDCROSS" to 90999 on your cell phone to make a $10 donation to relief efforts for Japan. The $10 will be added to your already-high cell phone bill! It's easy, it will make you feel good, and it will help others immediately!

Blessings to all who read this!
Susan






 

Enjoying Today

It's been awhile since I've posted a blog on this site. A long while. I've been distracted by a whole slew of things....work. Kids. Life.

One thing I've learned since Nicole's accident is to be more fluid. I pretty much take each day as it comes. Because no matter how much I plan, or how good my intentions are, there is almost surely something that will come up to thwart my plans. I just have to roll with it!

I have been very intentional the past few weeks, working hard to develop new freelance gigs. I'm in super money-making mode in preparation of my trip to Maine in May. I'm driving to Maine with my friend, Jonni Webb, and her dog, Cole. My reason for going: I'M WRITING A BOOK!

For all of those who read our Caring Bridge regularly, you watched a miraculous story unfold. It was just as hard for me to believe, and I was there, watching it all. If I heard it once, I heard it 100 times..."You HAVE to write a book!" So I am.

Why Maine? Jonni has been going there for years, and loves it, and she had an opportunity for a great rental deal for the entire month of May, and she asked if I'd be interested. I know that to write this book, I need to be away from home. Way too many distractions here.

So the next six weeks will be hustle, hustle, hustle...I have to make money to do this! I'm selling Scentsy as fast as I can, as that's how I pay for Joe's college tuition. (You can order online! http://www.susanmarquez.scentsy.us/). I'm writing, writing, writing for several publications, and doing some contract work for a couple of agencies and companies. It makes for a full and busy day...and in the end, I may just be able to pull this off!

I'm in the midst of chaos, but making it work. Joe has moved back home, and Nicole moved out of her house...which means my house is full of extra furniture, boxes, and all kinds of stray things. The things that used to be important this time of year--yard work, spring cleaning, planting flowers--have gone by the wayside. I just don't have time to deal with it. I miss it, but this year, I feel like I have a different purpose. It's now or never. Gotta getter done!

It's important to be healthy when you go through major changes or undertake a major challenge. I have been ignoring that aspect of my life, so when my yoga instructor, Jaclyn Ramsier, announced she'd be doing another detox class (I did it last year), I signed up right away. All this week, I've been eating salad, rice, beans, fruits and veggies. NO caffiene, animal products (including milk, yogurt, eggs, cheese), or wheat. Already I feel better. It's a good idea to do this from time to time. I'm thinking I'm going to do this for one week, once every three months. Larry's been doing it right along side me, and he's rediscovered the treadmill in our bedroom. That's a good thing!

What I don't want to do is get into such a whirling swirl that I miss what's going on here and now. I want to appreciate and savor each moment. I intend to enjoy this journey, regardless of the bumps that may be in the road. And I don't want to push people aside in the process. While my house may not be perfect, and my yard is full of weeds, I still want to enjoy this time in my life, and to look back on it with fond memories.

Blessings to all who read this,
Susan

Ooooh....That's Cold!

Brrrrrrrr...............

It's cold outside!

I'm NOT a cold weather person. I'm not really a hot weather person, either. I'm more of a perfect spring or fall day kind of gal. My favorite temperature is about 75 degrees.

But today, we woke up to iced bridges and reports of wrecks around town. Last night a 12-car pile-up was reported on I-55 in Jackson around Northside Drive. Ouch. But the worst was the folks who got stuck on "the stack" for five+ hours. I hope they had snacks and plenty of gas.

It may be hot and humid in the summer, but I LOVE living in the South. I don't think I could weather a winter very well up North. Snow is a novelty...fun to watch for a day or two, but I've been in New York, Chicago and Minneapolis in the winter and I've seen the black, slushy use-to-be snow and it ain't pretty.

We've been to Venezuela for Christmas a few times, and when the kids were younger, they were tickled pink to go swimming on Christmas day. Larry's sister, Maky, has a pool, and we'd spend Christmas Eve with family and friends outside, enjoying the warm tropical breezes while the kids were swimming. One Christmas we went to the beach, taking a boat ride to a remote little island where we spent the day finding incredible brain coral and other beautiful shells on the sand. Now THAT'S my kind of "white Christmas!"

I did, however, enjoy the real white Christmas we had in Nashville a couple of months ago. It started snowing at 8pm Christmas Eve, and we woke up to a beautiful white Christmas morning. The best part is that when it was time to drive home a couple of days later, all the roads were clear. Nice.

I tend to err on the side of caution when there is a winter storm advisory in our area. My children, however, seem to laugh in the face of danger. Remember New Year's Eve, when there was a string of tornadoes and violent weather across Mississippi? Joe and Emily loaded up the car and drove to New Orleans! And yesterday, as most folks were getting off work early so they could avoid the icing bridges, Nicole hopped on a train to New Orleans to visit a friend. They are planning on driving back today.

Last night Larry had a heck of a time getting home from work. He saw wreck after wreck, and an abundance of red and blue emergency vehicle lights. Our friend Ginger Williams-Cook reported on facebook that her house backs up to the infamous "waterworks curve" on I-55, and her normally quiet home was filled with the sounds of sirens. It's been rough out there!

One of the great things about the South is that whatever the weather, it doesn't last for long. Last Saturday, it was 70+ degrees and sunny. The temps won't be quite that high this weekend, but the weather forcasts all call for an abundance of sunshine. I'll take it! I'm driving to Baton Rouge tomorrow for a training meeting for my new job at NAMI





The good thing about bad weather is that it gives me a great excuse to curl up on the couch in front of the fireplace and knit an abundance of baby and children hats. I'm selling them to finance my trip to Maine in May to write my book. So if you need a baby or child's gift, please email me at larssue@aol.com!

Blessings to all who read this!

Susan

Inside the Lump Was My Twin!

After being a family member of a patient who spent six months of her life in various hospitals, I found myself back at another hospital again the other day.

My dad (known far and wide as "Papa Dale") had a small bump on his belly that grew into a larger bump that pretty much took on a life of its own. Because it was right where his waistband hit, it was particularly uncomfortable. Finally, he got in to see a doctor on Monday and was immediately admitted into River Oaks Hospital to have it taken care of.

He had surgery yesterday. Full blown general anesthesia operating room under-the-knife surgery. Which is always a little disconcerting. I wanted to be there during the surgery--and let him know I was there. But when I arrived at the hospital, his room was empty. The sweet nurse (they are SO wonderful at River Oaks!) called down to surgery and reported that he was still in the "holding area." I asked that they please let him know I was there.  A few minutes later, after I got settled into the chair in his room with a book, the phone rang. It was a nurse from the surgery team, telling me they were getting ready to roll him into the OR, but if I hurried, I could come wish him well. Which I did. Whew.

For some reason, when I thought about that lump on his belly, I kept remembering the scene from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." Andrea Martin's brilliant character, Aunt Voula, was meeting the oh-so-non-Greek Ian and his parents for the first time and relayed her very personal story:  "Now, you are family. Okay. All my life, I had a lump at the back of my neck, right here. Always, a lump. Then I started menopause and the lump got bigger from the "hormonees." It started to grow. So I go to the doctor, and he did the bio... the b... the... the bios... the... b... the 'bobopsy.' Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal cord. Yes. Inside the lump was my twin." (If you haven't had a chance to see one of my all-time favorite movies, watch the trailer or better yet, put it in your Netflix queue right away!)

My mind works in mysterious ways.

Papa Dale will be in the hospital for a few days so he can continue getting intravenous antibiotics and so they can be sure the wound is healing OK. Until then, my sister, Sarah (who drove down from Nashville last night) and I will take turns taking care of my mother and visiting Daddy in the hospital. The good news is that gives me alot of time to make hats (I'm calling them "Sassy Hatz," and am primarily knitting baby and children's hats, so if you need a baby gift, let me know!!!).

I'm reminded once again how much I appreciate doctors, nurses and other medical professionals. It's not a glamorous job by any means, and what they do requires a load of compassion. We are so grateful they studied so long and hard and they take their jobs so seriously. Thanks to you all!

Blessings to all who read this!
Susan

No TV, New Ride

I've been without television for two weeks now.

I know!

I can hardly believe it myself. But we just got tired of Direct TV going out every time the wind blows. So we just let it go. In the meantime, Larry has been looking at other options. He had a guy with Comcast on the phone forever the other night, and I thought the deal was done. But in the end, Larry got tired, and told the guy he'd call back later. Hasn't happened yet...

 So, we've had no TV. No local news. No morning shows. No Regis and Kelly in the morning (usually only background noise). No HGTV or TLC (like I need to see which house the rich people choose for their vacation home on "House Hunters International."). And no Real Housewives of NY/Atlanta/Orange County, etc. (So long Nene, Kim & her wig, Phaedra, Candy, and all the other housewives...)

The crazy thing is that I haven't really missed it. I have come to realize what a time waster TV is in my life. Work a little...take a break and watch TV. Wash clothes...turn on TV to fold laundry. And on it goes.

I came home from Girlfriend Weekend (the book/author extravaganza in Texas, in case you are reading this blog for the first time) with over 20 *FREE* books! In the past week, I've finished one Fannie Flagg book, read "Beguilded" by Deanne Gist, and have started Fannie Flagg's newest book. This morning, instead of stitting like a zombie in front of a home improvement show, I knitted a hat. A really cute hat. And that was before 10am!

Maybe it's a good thing we are without TV right now. That means that we have no cable bill. Which means that money can now go towards my new car note--the one I'll have to pay monthly for the next few years.

That's right!

***I got a new car! ***

My 2001 Impala, with nearly 200,000 miles on it, was dying an ugly death right before my eyes. We've poured $1500+ into it over the past six months, and was just getting worse by the day. When Larry had to run errands Monday, I suggested he take my car (I'm no dummy!). He came home in a car from the Watson Hyundai dealership in Canton (where he happened to be when the oil light came on in the Impala). After test driving a car a day for five days, we settled on a sporty 2011 Elantra Limited. (I must take a moment to testify how wonderful the folks at that dealership were to deal with. EASY and not pushy at all.)

You have to understand that I'm not big into cars. I just really want something that will get me where I want to go in a realiable and comfortable manner. (I keep thinking of those obnoxious car commercials that used to run a few years ago with the guy "singing," I Want a Car....I Want a Car I Can DRIIIIIIVEEEE!!!)

It had gotten to where I couldn't even drive the Impala out of town, which had me feeling a bit trapped. I like to know I can go when I'm ready!

Well, this little car is just as cute as can be, and it is fully loaded with all kinds of gadgets like Bluetooth so I can just push a button on my steering wheel to answer the phone, built-in XM radio, seat warmers, an iPod dock, etc. AND it gets great gas mileage, which is good, as Larry said he paid $2.99 for gas the other day.

Oh, and I got something else new. A job! With some of my regular writing gigs drying up (I used to write 4-6 articles for the Clarion-Ledger/Madison County Herald/NE Ledger a week, and now I'm down to two Faith articles a month for the Herald), I had to look for steady income. So I applied for/interviewed and got a job with the National Alliance for Mental Illness (again...I know!) as their special events coordinator. I'll be planning and coordinating the annual conference in April and a big fundraising walk in October, among other things. It's part-time, so I'll still have plenty of time to write, sell Scentsy (order online at http://www.susanmarquez.scentsy.com/!), sell cPRIME (order online at www.mycprime.com/smarquez!) and knit hats to sell. Sounds like alot, but I think I can do it all. Scentsy pays for Joe's tuition, and I want to sell enough cPRIME so that I can pay for Nicole to be in Pilates at least two days a week. The hat money is for me to go to Maine in May to write a book on Nicole's journey.

That Pilates thing is important...Nicole's therapy is winding down. Funding has been depleted and she's being cut loose by Quest (a division of Methodist Rehab). To maintain her current physical status, and to continue to improve, she's going to need to keep working out with Eclecius several times a week. Adding Pilates will help with her core body strength. None of that is covered by insurance at all...and we're looking at about $400-$500/month, so if I have to go without TV to help pay for it, I will.

Let me just give you all a bit of advice: stay off the roofs of buildings if you can...the cost of falling off of one is astronomical!

It will all work out...always has. We are thankful to have the "challenges" we have. We fully understand the alternative.

I'm asking a favor of all who read this. One is to post a comment below if you feel so moved...I sure like reading them! The other is to "follow" this blog. There is a difference between "subscribing" and "following." I'd love for you to do both, but when you follow it, I can get a better idea of who is reading it. And the more followers I have, the more excited I get and more motivated to write.

Blessings to all who read this!

Susan